I have been diagnosed with rectal cancer and I only have 3 days to live. It is my dying wish to bestow upon you my inheritance for I have no heirs. Unfortunately, due to my inability to hold in my bowel movements, I have never found a woman to bear me a son. As such, I have focused on investments and now have 25 million pounds of pheeness. It is valued at 86,686,868,686 US$ dollars. To ensure you will put this pheeness to good use, I require a good faith deposit of 20% of this value into my account. And one night of romance before my untimely demise. Do not worry, for I will provide all the adult diapers and baby wipes, rose petals, champagne and a hot tub. I use the hot tub regularly as it helps me relax and allow for even more emptying of my bowels. My loving term of endearment for it is the chocolate tub. It is a good deal, no? Do not deny a dying man his final wish, please!